A trip to China (Chinatown)

I have made it a tradition to go to Chinatown every Lunar New Year. The Chinese calendar coincides with the lunar/solar rotations. The Lunar New Year follows the Lunar calendar. The holiday starts with the first New Moon of the New Year and spans 15 days. Perfect amount of time to block out one day to schedule a trip to Chinatown.

I have one purpose when I go to Chinatown every year. I want to happily eat a mooncake with the people I coerce to come with me. On my hunt for a bakery, I stop and stare at the crowded streets before me. In a place where the majority of the people look comparable to me, there is distance and unfamiliarity that lingers within me. The hustle and bustle are different from that in the heart of any city. There is intention and purpose around every corner. Workers sell their knock-off designer brands, while friends dine at family-oriented restaurants and families go in and out of bakeries to get their weekly goodies.

This year I went to Chinatown while visiting New York City. I like going to Chinatown with my white friends. I think it brings some gratification that I can share my limited knowledge of Chinese culture without having them judge me. For a brief moment, I feel proud. Since it’s a holiday that I “celebrate,” my friends let me guide them towards activities and food recommendations. Before going into a bakery, my friends and I decided to grab food at one of the restaurants. We’re in the mood for dumplings and fried rice. How original.

Insecurity instantly fills my thoughts when I order at the restaurant. The first contact with someone who speaks a language I was supposed to learn creates this cognitive dissonance. The waiter speaks Mandarin and broken English. I tell her my food order. Our interaction shares much more than what I want to eat. My American accent and disposition tell her I don’t belong here. I see her glimpse at the people who are with me. I start to sink.

I know five words in Mandarin. “nihao, xiexie, bukeqi, wo shi, and numbers 1-10.” (hello, thank you, you’re welcome, I am). I group the numbers as one word because who can speak to someone just by using numbers? In Mandarin Chinese, four basic tones of pinyin are used to emphasize the vowels of each word. Pitch and tone are important. Using a different pronunciation of a word can completely change its meaning. For example, mā using tone one means mom. If someone were to pronounce it like mǎ using the third tone when trying to get their mom’s attention, they would be calling their mom a horse.

When I realize the waiter speaks Mandarin, I think about saying xiexie (thank you) when I get my food. Something always stops me. Is it rude to use a language I am not skillfully practical at? Would the waiter look at me with disappointment and uncertainty? Or worst of all, would they look at me like I just spoke a completely different language other than Chinese or English altogether? Innocuously, I say, “ thank you. ” The waiter nods in reply as if she reads my fast-paced thoughts. None of my friends notice this interaction. Are eating an authentic lunch my friends and I are happily full and head off to a bakery that looks “good.” I am persistent that wherever we go they have to sell mooncakes. I am fairly confident that most bakeries sell mooncakes in Chinatown. I repeat this sentiment about five times until a friend asks me. “What are mooncakes anyways?”

I proudly explain the origin of mooncakes, what they are and why we eat them. My friend’s uninterested expression lets me know that he is bored by this short legend, but something always fires up inside me when I get to share this tale. Mooncakes are good, but they are not great. It’s not a decadent dessert that I crave. At this moment in time, I want it more than anything. I feel excited. I want my friends to feel excited too.

There are no organized lines in Chinatown bakeries. With purpose, you tell the bakery clerk what you want and fast. I ordered two mooncakes, one for me and one for a friend that wanted to try one. We are quickly back outside the bakery.

We cheer and toast to the mooncakes; we toast to the Lunar New Year. I feel happy for a blissful moment.